W.A.R. ([info]estranger) wrote,
@ 2009-02-11 16:42:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend  Next Entry
Current music:The Presents - Beams

The End






What do you do when the only voice telling you, you're a winner, is your own? When all around you, you hear it in stereo that you're a failure at everything you ever tried and everything you ever will strive for. I don't know what to believe anymore. I can't even hear God's voice anymore.

They called me today to say that I've been terminated due to a CER Violation.

Which, put in Layman's Terms can be one of multiple things, but usually to do with cleanliness. I'm OCD as many of you know when it comes to hygiene, so how this befelled me is out of my hands, out of my grasp of comprehension. I have eczema for one, a chronic dry skin disease that ironically enough I contracted from working at Abbott two years ago.

I have a feeling it is what was my downfall. About a month or so ago my supervisor advised me against scratching, and from then on I had kept a close eye on myself to keep from it. This is all I can think of...

They've asked me to turn in my badge and parking pass tomorrow and if they bother they might even have the mercy to give me a follow-up on why I'm such a fuck-up.

It's over. I spent two years with my face in the mud trying to climb my way back to the top, back to the job I loved, the people I loved, the position at which I felt at complete zen.

It wasn't even about the money.

And I know how bullshit that is. But this is different. Abbott is different.

I was helping people. I was saving lives. We're reminded of that daily and it gave me such pride, such joy that I wasn't some joe-smoe at a burger joint. I was making a difference in peoples' lives every day by just coming into work. It meant something. It had impact. I cared so much about what I was doing to the point that I didn't mind that all I ever slept, ate, and breathed was work. How tired or sick I was didn't matter, I would be there.

But I fucked up.

I've never felt so low. And I know they say once you hit rock bottom the only way is up. But that proverb has never sounded like such utter bullshit than right now.

I don't have any hope, even as my aunt, who works in the Zevo building of Abbott and is a R & D Technician, is emailing me right now trying to get as much information on the situation as she can. I just don't see any way out of this. Two years ago I didn't have any way out. And that was when Abbott was Guidant. When they were more lenient and graced me with a full year before terminating me.

God.

How long has it only been...?

Was it November? November 11th? That date sticks out for me.

Not even 3 months.

3 months.

I screwed up in 3 months.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

For here on out though. I'm canceling any plans I had for this year. ALL.

GONE.

Anyone I'm disappointing, well. Sorry, but I'm not going to be around anymore. My priorities are elsewhere.

This is the end.

(47 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]dynamo_hunter_a
2009-02-12 01:32 am UTC (link)
Okay.

I realize you think this is the end for it all, but you can't let this put you so far down. You're made of stronger stuff.

You'll get through this.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 12:36 am UTC (link)
It's not so much pulled me down as it has knocked me down without warning or provocation.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]maguma_sama
2009-02-12 01:34 am UTC (link)
oh that is not good at all ;_; I hope they at least get back to you on what their reasoning is and all that. But don't kick yourself so hard ;^; sometimes shit happens and we just get caught in the middle.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 12:37 am UTC (link)
3rd shift was completely dissolved. Work was canceled last night and many people were laid off last night. I wasn't alone apparently according to my supervisor.

It's just so truly devastating. There were some great people on that line. None of them deserved this.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]tempglitch
2009-02-12 02:20 am UTC (link)
Aw, man... What a drag...

I really hope that things look up. The economy is crap, in Cali at least, so I think that people are getting fired for anything right now, really. Any reason to let someone go for something other than the fact that the company is downsizing.

Don't be so hard on yourself, though. This can't be the end for you. Too many people will miss you, me being one of them, even though we are only really acquaintances.

I say that if it's still a possibility to attend conventions and stick to the plans you made, then you should do all the things you wanted to do this year.

There are other jobs out there and even though you loved the one that you were working so hard for, odds are that there's one that you'll love even more.

If you need anyone to talk to, to vent to, give me a shout. I'm always willing to listen.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 12:46 am UTC (link)
Any reason at all... It's horrible. Where will people go, what are we to do? I know this isn't the great depression, but it sure as hell feels like it to those of us that never experienced it first hand.

And while this isn't the end of my life, far from it, it is the end of many things, especially where things are concerned online. For the things people expect from me here.

I can't stick to plans. I can't make promises to anything. Nothing is no longer for sure or solid or on any foundation with which I can be certain. It's like life's agenda has been thrown up in the air and I'm standing here completely befuddled on where to go to next.

I've got people fighting for me though, so there is something. Some kind of assurance that there is still something out there for me. But nothing is solid right now. I'm on a fault-line so-to-speak, so we shall see as time passes and I go through the grieving process along the way to recovery.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]tempglitch
2009-02-13 07:27 am UTC (link)
*Hugs* Just don't give up. Never give up.

There is a bright side to everything...a light at every tunnel. A sharp turn might be blocking sight of the light at this time, though.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]jacoba
2009-02-12 02:30 am UTC (link)
Know we are kinda talking now.
But what tempglitch said is true. Economy is crap. Any reason to downsize, companies will take it. It's terrible, but true, and you were sadly a victim of it.
This isn't the end of anything. You are not alone, and we will help you.

(Reply to this)


[info]hexlord
2009-02-12 02:41 am UTC (link)
*pats* Sorry to hear about that. I was in a similar situation a few years back, and it wasn't pretty at all.

Do take care.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 12:48 am UTC (link)
I shall do so, and do my best at it ♥ Thank you, luv.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]jenovaphobia
2009-02-12 02:58 am UTC (link)
Honey, frankly from where I'm standing it sounds like they're just using that as an excuse to lay you off (and probably many others, too). Three months is the normal probationary period where I am in the UK, and if it's the same where you are it means, in short, they can sack for anything and put it down to the probationary period being insufficient. It's not your fault.

I know these words don't come as much comfort, but keep your head held high and start looking for something new - you will find something, it's just gonna take a little time.

x

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 12:51 am UTC (link)
You're absolutely correct in saying that. It was merely a scapegoat. For I found out early this morning that the entire 3rd shift had been dissolved. Work was canceled last night and the line was split up in different directions. I was a casualty due to their desperate need to downsize.

It will take time to grasp again at the reigns of the career I desire, but for right now I haven't a choice but to halt all plans and endeavors that do not involve finding myself something new.

Thank you, sweetheart ♥

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]zoe_sama
2009-02-12 04:04 am UTC (link)
I still keep track of you, and would hate to lose touch. At least keep up with LJ/DA. After the couple of years I've known you, I've seen you get through this stuff. You can get through this too. You're a strong person, and that voice in your head declaring you're a winner isn't alone. <3

Also, I agree, the economy is partially to blame for this sort of thing. From what you've said, it sounds rather out of the blue. Augh.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 12:59 am UTC (link)
It's very out of the blue and I'm so glad and grateful to still hear from you. I glance to my F-list from time to time and see your posts also. I wish I was more active here really...

I don't feel so alone as I did when this hit me. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else was there. I had to hear a voice other than my own. I'm happy to hear yours ♥

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]abyssalphoenix
2009-02-12 04:17 am UTC (link)
They are fucking retarded, and cannot get away with firing someone for having eczema. (I have it too btw, on the inside of my elbows, backs of my knees, and right below my -ass-.)

Damnit... Don't you dare leave me woman. :(

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-12 04:44 am UTC (link)
The severity of this situation is what kills me and perhaps what little festering spirit I had. I wasn't always the most optimistic person in the world, but I could always make myself feel better by looking back on my career and how far it had and would take me. Everything rode on it. Everything that mattered to me.

I'm a workaholic by nature. I'm driven by productivity and the promise of productivity. So to lose this is like a part of me as died.

Sure I had my hobby of cosplay and RP to give me little highs here and there. But Abbott was a constant every day reassurance of my stability and utter contentment. As it had always gone, I would choose my job over everything.

I've never been so blindsided. This came out of no where. No warnings. Just a call while I was making my lunch to take to work with me tonight.

I'm at such a loss of what to do even with my father and aunt giving me all these suggestions on what to go on from here, it all seems so fruitless. And maybe it's just the utter sense of misery talking and by the time my eyes clear up and my head stops screaming for me to just lie down and go to sleep forever, maybe I'll figure it out.

But for right now I just want to hide away. I've never felt like things were so out of my hands. So much is out of my control and it makes me feel unstable. I'm a usually well-grounded person, so to have this feeling is alien to me.

It's mortifying.

And while some blame could be posed my the skin condition I can't help, it does sound like the company is downsizing. My supervisor was given a call by my aunt and apparently he hadn't even been notified of my situation. It was something much higher up. So the violation more than likely was just an excuse to have me terminated.

I'm calling my supervisor tonight in hopes he can at least grant me with a letter of recommendation. I'll find another job, sure.

But it wont be Abbott. And that's what kills me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]abyssalphoenix
2009-02-12 05:03 am UTC (link)
I understand that. ::Hug.:: But don't disappear.

And you know how you had that goal to be there? Well do it again. Work someplace else for a while, and make them want you -bad- for how good you are. You did it once, you can do it again (hopefully when the company is growing rather than shrinking.) I don't think they would have taken you at all if you didn't have what it took.

I'm sleepy so I'm not coherent... but I wish you luck hun. You're in my thoughts.

::Hug.::

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]soul_jar
2009-02-12 05:35 am UTC (link)
Hey now! You can't quit. I have a feeling that something will help you get through this, so please try to be strong.

Besides, I gotta see you this summer! It won't be AX without you, remember?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 01:00 am UTC (link)
I can't have any promises right now, but I will tell you I will try. I don't want to disappoint.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]soul_jar
2009-02-13 04:24 am UTC (link)
D: Waitwait, that's not what I wanted to... Ack.

As long as you don't just quit - which I now know you aren't - you can't disappoint me. <3 I guess I was just trying to give you a little motivation, in a lame way. Heh.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 04:47 am UTC (link)
Don't fret so much, I know what you meant :3 ♥

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]soul_jar
2009-02-13 05:36 am UTC (link)
lol 'kay ♥

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]charexlchan
2009-02-12 05:42 am UTC (link)
Don't disappear!! I'll miss you so much, all the talks we had when I was a newbling to dA, seeing you at cons.. it won't be the same without you!! This isn't the end, just a new beginning.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 01:06 am UTC (link)
I can't make promises, I just know I can't afford to be out in the public like I used to at this point. Everything is so uncertain because I have no answers from anyone. It's the sudden uncertainty of everything I've had planned that drives me to put everything I've wanted to do to be placed on hold. If that means I disappear, it wont be forever I can assure you though.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]okamishoujo
2009-02-12 06:23 am UTC (link)
Oh dear! ;-;
I'm terribly sorry this happened to you! But I know you're a strong person, you'll get through this!

I'm sure it was the companies crappy way of downsizing...since the economy here's gone to hell :\

If you need anyone to vent to, you know how to contact me, I'm always here to listen. You're in my thoughts and prayers, hun.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 01:07 am UTC (link)
Thank you so, so much, sweets ♥ I'm riding on prayers at the moment.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]moogleborg
2009-02-12 06:27 am UTC (link)
Sorry to hear about this happening to ya.....but ya know, its happened to a majority to us, but all i'll tell ya is don't give up. You've got all of us to help ya.

(This is Moogleborg from DeviantArt and Fanime, BTW. ^^)

(Reply to this)


[info]majorvegi
2009-02-12 08:24 am UTC (link)
Get yourself together.
There always is a hope and there always is a way to do things. It is never over.

Believe me, this job is not the only of it's kind. See this time as new knowledge you have gained that you can use perfect for a new, a greater job :)

Everything you do is just training that helps yourself to improve. So don't be sad. Go search around. You can only loose if you don't try :)

And as I got to know you, you are worthy and I know you can do things if you want to. Be strong...and take your baseball bat with you ;) it may help :D *hugs*

(Reply to this) (Thread)
On my other LJ account
[info]king_no_life
2009-02-13 01:31 am UTC (link)
Major...
I do not want things to be over. I want to find a new way.

I wish to pick myself up and grasp life by the reigns because I feel I deserve it after all that I've struggled for.

I want to be greater. I want this to be a learning experience. I want all of that.

You're right... You are so very right.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.

I will try to keep my despair in check. Try to minimize my sadness as I grieve.

I'll bat a thousand! To hear this from you brings me such solace... Thank you, I want to be worthy. I will be.

I just need time, that is all. *hugs* ♥

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]artisticdr34ms
2009-02-12 09:00 pm UTC (link)
Seriously?

You mean, no one died?

You're not sick...

You don't have a certain time to live...

You still have friends..

Family..

And through all that, you're going to abandon the ones that love your work, some probably great friends, because you LOST A JOB?

You're not the only one in the US right now that's lost their job. Be happy you still have your life. Your friends. Your talent.

I appreciate your cosplay. That's why I have you as a friend... But there are seriously more things to be upset about...

Magicalmelonball on dA

(Replies frozen)(Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-12 09:11 pm UTC (link)
Oh wow. Please forgive me for lamenting over something that was so critical to me that indeed it felt like something did in fact die for me. This career consumed over half my life, and I've been involved with them for 3-4 years. I'm sorry I'm not allowed to feel the utter devastation the rest of the US is going through just because it is happening to them as well.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]artisticdr34ms
2009-02-13 02:22 am UTC (link)
Yeah, I understand that. I feel bad you lost your job just like me and a ton of others.

However...

I'm tired of people quitting when something bad happens to them. You're like the 5th fucking person in the last few weeks to quit because something didn't go your way.

I lost my job. I lost my grandmother, my baby cousin, my uncle, and my BEST FUCKING FRIEND in the last 6 FUCKING MONTHS.

They're dead. They're FUCKING DEAD. I will NEVER see them again.

But I'm not going to quit drawing. I'm not going to stop trusting in God. I'm not going to abandon people.

That's what I'm trying to say. I know it took years of your life, but you STILL HAVE YOUR HEALTH, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY.

Why QUIT doing what you say you love to do because you lost your job?!

Now you lose two things you like to do instead of one. Hold on to your cosplay. It may not what you want to do as a life goal, but don't leave one because you're upset about the other...

Whatever, I'm not gonna keep posting. I'm already "the asshole."

Edited at 2009-02-13 02:27 am UTC

(Replies frozen)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 04:17 am UTC (link)
Do you have any conceivable estimate of just how expensive it is to cosplay? This is a hobby, hun. I did it cause I could afford the sacrifices I made for it. That's not the case anymore. My job backed that hobby 100%, and now that it's gone, the hobby needs to take a back seat too.

I may love it, but not enough to put myself into debt because of it.

I never lost trust in God either, but a conglomerate of other instances in my life has made my spirituality wane over the past two years. I'm not about to list them like you because posting them online like this is some kind of "WHO'S LIFE IS WORSE OFF" contest, is just fucking ridiculous.

I realize you're bitter because of your own losses, but it's no reason to lash out at me for just because I'm putting an end to A HOBBY and un-needed social-life for the chance of financial stability.

The people who enjoy my work online may miss it, but that's just how it's going to have to be.

I'm not a cosplayer.

I'm a human.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)

[info]soul_jar
2009-02-13 05:17 am UTC (link)
Way to suddenly turn the subject around to be all about you AND look like an asshole in a matter of two posts. I don't even know you, and I dislike you.

How one feels about their tragedies and handles them is a matter of personal choice and preference, and in no way is what estranger did wrong. Belittling her choices does make for good advice, nor does it make you look strong or whatever the hell you were going for. God forbid she make a mature choice and decide to set aside an expensive hobby like cosplaying for now so she can, you know, LIVE from day to day.

Jesus. Grow up, and stop picking on people to ease your own bitterness.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)

[info]dynamo_hunter_a
2009-02-12 09:19 pm UTC (link)
Wow.

Way to come off as such a caring individual.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)

[info]jacoba
2009-02-12 09:25 pm UTC (link)
She does still have all that, but understand that her life did revolve around the career she was planning for. It allowed her to be up at the times she wanted, and provided her money so she can be the talented cosplayer she is.
At the moment, it is an end, until things get back on track. But it could be a while. Let her grieve, as being terminated from any job you cared for in the least hurts.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)

[info]serinance
2009-02-12 09:28 pm UTC (link)
Dude. I don't know you but all I can gather is you're being an extremely insensitive dickhead. Cosplay =/= friendship. You want to be a friend you should try to understand what she's going through. You're right, there are more things to be upset about, people like you.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]artisticdr34ms
2009-02-13 02:18 am UTC (link)
Excuse me? Understand what she's going through?

I know what's she going through.

For the last fucking six months I've had 4 deaths in the family. 3 of them unexpected.

IT FUCKING SUCKS.

But what I'm tired of, at the same time, are people CRYING that something bad happened in their life, and QUITS EVERYTHING.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-13 04:37 am UTC (link)
What is your deal, dude? You're acting like no one should ever be upset when something devastating like this happens to them. So because people have WORSE OFF THINGS happen to them, I'm not allowed to feel sadness as well? WELL HOLY SHIT everyone in my family died and got their ashes pissed on! But at least it wasn't the Holocaust!

This isn't "QUITTING EVERYTHING", Cosplay, an overly active social-life on the internet, conventions, fandom-related bollocks is not EVERYTHING.

Did I threaten anywhere in there that I was going to kill myself or something? No. This was asking to hear a voice of reason that WASN'T MY OWN.

Am I a bad person for wanting reassurance?

I will cry too. I will cry that I lost something precious to me. But just because you're too bitter to see it any other way than your own doesn't mean I have to conform to your ideas.

People grieve in different ways. People are affected in different ways to different sorts of let downs in their life.

I don't understand your scrutiny. If you really understood at all, with all that's happened to you as your own example of loss, you wouldn't have lashed out at me like I did something wrong by feeling the way I do.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)

[info]serinance
2009-02-13 04:40 am UTC (link)
Oh boohoo. You're not the only one who has problems, asshat. You think other people haven't had deaths and things that suck in their family? Guess what. It's not your place to intervene and tell others what to do. Stop being a complete bitch and come back when you've obtained some clarity of mind. Bad shit happens and everyone deals with it differently.

(Replies frozen)(Parent)

[info]maguma_sama
2009-02-13 12:10 am UTC (link)
you need to learn a special term called "Sentimental Value". |:/

(Replies frozen)(Parent)

[info]ryshili
2009-02-17 04:16 am UTC (link)
Take a breath, it's not all over.

I'm not disappointed... I'm just really sad and worried. I know I've only known you through cons, and we don't even talk all that much. That doesn't mean I'm not a friend, I just... didn't/don't want to scare you away and/or just be a boring ole conversation.
I'm excited when I see you at cons, it makes me happy, and I really do want to hang out and such... I'm just a bit passive about that with people I haven't grown up with.

To share just a little to let you know that I understand, I'll let you know what happened recent, though I've had it on away messages and such.

You know how I was getting that surgery... I don't know if I told you. But I was fired the day RIGHT after my surgery. And for reasons that were complete and utter lies. And I am pretty damn sure it is because of who I am. And what I am. I don't fit in their neat little gender order, and they just made up a bunch of lies, none of what I did at all, and got rid of me. Not only that. The phone call woke me up at 8am in the morning, I'm in pain, I'm suffering for the aftereffects and then I cry for hours... Hideous are such people, and such a blindsided thing. I know what you feel.

Here's a link to my other journal: http://thetgryshili.livejournal.com/1308.html

That said... the economy is a mess right now. People are getting fired/laid off a lot due to the fact employers want to spend less money. That unfortunately means that ANYTHING they can use as an excuse to get people away, and if there is none, make it up and lie... they are going to do such. It's filthy, it's disgracing, it's this damn American humanity.

I had a job where I loved it as well. It was back in MS. A simple little movie theater... I loved it to death. Then Katrina happened. And it was literally gone forever. I also was really attached to EA. As my contract was well over... I cried all on my way out to the car by the boss I loved to work under o-so-much.

Life goes on. It just takes time. It's really interesting how it comes from me, as right now, I'm in a rut. I want to just crawl in my grave early. But I can't, because there's so much more. There's other jobs of the same type. And I say this to you as I should be taking my words myself.

I am a brother in arms with you on this one. Know you aren't trying to figure out things alone. There's more jobs out there, plenty in which you can help people. Sure it won't be the same place, but it'll be a different place, with different and maybe even people who need help and have a more dire situation.

A hiatus from a hobby that's expensive is smart... however, a hiatus from the love of friends and the support they are willing to give... please don't do that. That might be just the right thing to help you bring to your feet. The more heads and thoughts the better at figuring out a better tomorrow and learning of more opportunities that can arise.

Though the fact internet has the drama, and I can even see it here posted on a journal.. it's understandable to try to be away from that, hell I don't want that really in my life either.

I realize this all is grouping you and I together, I don't.. know how to separate especially since I'm going through the same thing.

Just don't throw everything away. Things will be able to regain later, but do focus on the important parts of life. Love, friendship, and being the better human.

E-mail me if you want to talk, and such... or IM...
E-mail: NurikoUtsukushii@gmail.com
AIM: Ryshili

Just because yeah... not to have talking public and such if you don't want it to be.

Loads of hugs if/when I see you at cons or outside of them.

(Reply to this)


[info]phisinfinity
2009-02-23 09:51 am UTC (link)
Eesh. Rough patch, dude. I'm more sorry for the emotional impact this has caused you. I've heard of a lot of people losing jobs and things, but I can't get myself to feel particularly sympathetic towards them because, well, it was always about the money. But to lose something that you really loved, had faith in, and sincerely enjoyed... That's harsh. Most people spend their lives pulling through horrible jobs just to get by, so to have a job that you sincerely enjoy day after day is such a rarity. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. I wish I could say more, but I can't even imagine what else I could possibly say in the face of such an awful situation. Just hope you'll hang tight and that things will get better. I'll look forward to seeing you again, no matter how distant in the future. :) Best of luck!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]estranger
2009-02-23 10:00 am UTC (link)
I ♥ you, you know?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]katimus_prime
2009-03-23 06:53 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. There was a good two years where I felt the same way. It takes time to get over something so big. Let yourself feel the pain, but dwelling on it won't make things better. It took me a long time to realize it, but no matter what other people tell you or encourage you to do, the choice to stand up and brush yourself off is yours. I hope you find that strength sooner than I did.

Sorry for the late reply. I haven't been checking my f-list like I should. I wanted to wish you a birthday early because I know I'll forget tomorrow.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]king_no_life
2009-03-23 08:00 pm UTC (link)
It's alright and I'm grateful for your concern. I'm less 'mental breakdown' as I was when I wrote this, and while I still haven't found a new job, I'm at least not stressing so hard as I was over it.

Thank you too, I'm already feeling old lol! But I was signed up for a neat Disneyland promotion where you get in free on your birthday. So I'll have a day to forget things for a bit :3

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]katimus_prime
2009-03-24 10:50 pm UTC (link)
Good, good. I hope you take full advantage of that relax-time. Hit me up on MSN soonish. I'll try to be on more. I'm es_issachar@hotmail.com there. :3 ::hugs::

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(47 comments) - (Post a new comment)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…