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[October 07, 2009] |
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| Epic. |
[September 03, 2006] |
Whoa. Steve Irwin died.
BY A STINGRAY BARB.
THROUGH THE CHEST.
Sure. He had it coming...
"THESE KOMODO DRAGONS CAN CRUSH MODERATELY SIZED STONES IN THEIR HANDS! THEIR SALIVA IS SO FILLED WITH BACTERIA IT IS CONSIDERED A POISON. NOW I'M GOING TO LAY NEXT TO TWO OF THEM AND STROKE THEIR TAILS!"
Man. Though...
He should have went in an epic battle with a croc.
He should have fought like...
Five crocs.
Two dragons.
A bunch of snakes.
A giant scorpion.
And a polar bear.
Epic power metal playing.
And thunder.
Dramatic wind blowing his hair.
On a cliff edge.
Then he'd be seen at a in a bird's eye view.
And a heavenly chorus would ring out in the metal music.
And he'd be shirtless.
With three big claw marks down his chest.
And he'd have a staff.
...
And then his wife will find him and hold him and cry.
Then they'd have a Viking style funeral pyre for him.
And as the flames raise to the heavens the camera will pan up.
And his profile will be smiling in the sky.
With the fable wind blowing his hair.
And the profile will be transparent of course.
And there would be a rock version of his 'Crocodile hunter' theme playing.
...
...
That would have been badass.
His Spirit Lives On
Our Modern Day Hero
He Was Truly Epic
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